That's Not What I Meant
by The Lil' Lion
Summary: "Do you even like me Draco?"- "No, I don't like you Potter" - "What? I thought…" - "God, your so pathetic Potter. I don't like you because I love you, you dimwit." A Drarry Oneshot


**Harry Potter POV**

Do you ever wish that you've never been born? Not that you were dead, but just that… the baby your mother had wasn't you, and that baby would have an entirely different fate. Maybe that baby, wouldn't have to save the world?

Lily and James were practically fated to have him. He couldn't change that, but he could dream. Maybe somewhere, in an alternate reality, Neville Longbottom would be the one in his place, spell beaming at the Lord of Darkness. Maybe, it would be a world were someone, with all their heart, truly loved him.

Sure, he has the Weasleys and Hermonie, but he wanted someone all to himself. He didn't want to feel like an intruder.

It was that way with Draco before he turned. Harry had never really expected anything- Draco's dad hated him, and was a death eater, but… the Malfoy boy was different. It was almost as if he understood. Even though they were such different people.

They never really had anything anyway. A couple sparks, sure, but no fire. The kiss in the hallway after potions. The grabbing of hands when they were walking towards the forbidden forest, the tight hug they'd shared when Harry returned.

But Draco was on the other side now. Maybe he didn't want to be, but he was fated that way.

Don't focus on that, thought Harry, focus on the spell.

Harry forced all his energy toward the red light shining from his wand. He closed his eyes tightly, and pushed it forward one more bit.

Voldemort's green spell was coming closer to him. He squeezed his eyes tighter. He could do this- he just needed to.

The sound of a sword against skin, and the wrenching cry of pain, a squeal made his eyes bound open.

Neville Longbottom was standing in the middle of the steps, the sword of Gryffindor wielded, and grinning fiercely at Voldemort. Blood was dripping from his face, and mud and dirt covered his clothing, but even so, he managed to look noble.

Harry focused his energy on the spell again, which was trickling closer towards Voldemort's wand. He let out a scream, and forced it further. The wand came spinning toward him, the spell still going. It flew into his hand, and he pointed at it.

Voldemort was dead.

It wasn't a surprise that Harry had to go to the hospital wing after. Exhaustion and weakness plagued him. He hadn't decided what to do with the wand yet, but he saw it put down neatly beside his bed.

He grasped for it, and hold it in his hands, delicately balancing it.

"Harry?" A voice, one who he quickly identified as Ron spoke.

Harry turned over groggily. "Ron? Hey. What happened?"

"After Voldemort died, you passed out, and the Ministry got to most of the death eaters. Um…" Ron looked around nervously. "Malfoy carried you up here, and Madam Pomfrey tended to your wounds."

"Was he taken?"

Ron looked at his hands. "Malfoy? No, he actually didn't really do much damage, and the professors covered it up by saying he was under a charm. I mean, he probably was but-"

"Ron?" Harry interrupted, twinging in annoyance.

"Yeah?" Ron responded, and looked back up to Harry.

"Shut up."

"Okay. Thanks for that Harry. I probably would have kept blathering on if you hadn't stopped me. Is there any other questions I should answer for you?"

"When can I get out of this godforsaken bed?"

Ron grinned. "Now. If you want, I can call Hermonie and Ginny- I know she'll want to talk to you." he winked.

"Ron? I know this probably isn't the time, and it's a bit forward, but I'm not interested in Ginny. I've never been. I mean, she's a friend, but I don't have romantic feelings toward her."

"Thank god." Ron sighed, but moments later, his eyes widened. "Why?"

"Why don't I have feelings for Ginny?" Harry raised his one of his eyebrows and shrugged. "I'm gay."

"What?"

"I'm gay." Harry said plainly. He had been thinking about it for a while, and now, for sure, he knew it was true.

"Wait, so… have you ever liked me?" Ron responded, confused.

Harry laughed. "No. That would be incestuaual. Plus, your not my type."

"I don't know if I should be offended by that." Ron paused for a second, clearly processing things. "So wait, what _is _your type?"

A faint blush creeped up Harry's cheeks. It was now or never. "Blonde, pale skin, grey eyes…"

"Wait…" realization clouded Ron's face. "You and… him?"

"Uh, yeah." Harry responded. "Look, I'm going to leave you to process that, and get out of this hospital bed."

Ron slowly nodded, and watched as Harry stumbled out of the bed, and through the doors. Once Harry was outside, he breathed a sigh of relief, and looked in both directions.

On one side, he saw the damage the death eaters had done to Hogwarts, and on the other, he saw families, sitting together, hugging each other, showing unturnable affection. It was almost disorienting, the differences between each side.

Harry walked to the side of damage, and scanned his surroundings. It didn't look like anyone was there, but as he walked around, he saw a blonde boy standing, looking out onto the mountain terrain before them. Harry walked over, wordlessly, and stood just several feet behind the boy he identified to be Malfoy.

"Draco?" He said, almost unsure of who was before him.

Draco didn't seem startled at all. "Hello." His voice was soft, frail.

"Are you okay?"

Draco didn't look back at him. "I-" he started, but his voice faded to quiet. "I don't have anywhere to go. Father was taken and… I- I'm not okay."

"Sorry."

"Yeah. You should be. Not about killing He-Who-"

"Just call him Voldemort. He gone for good now."

"Voldemort." Draco winced, visibly, "About me."

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, confused in the role he played towards Draco's sadness. "I don't matter."

"You kinda do." Draco responded, and he turned around. "And it's killing me to say this but-"

"Do you even like me?" Harry interjected. "If I matter then… why? Why do I matter to you?"

"No. I don't like you Potter." He said, ignoring the other question.

"What? I thought…" Harry's voice trailed off.

He could hear Draco look down and mutter the word "Shit." After a deep breath, the Malfoy boy looked back up. "God, your so pathetic Potter." Another breath. "I don't like you because I _love_ you, you dimwit."

Silence. Harry looked down at his hands and-

"Shit. I screwed this up." Draco laughed. "Just ignore me. I- that didn't come out right."

"What was it supposed to mean?" Harry responded quietly.

"I mean- it's just… I don't feel the same way around you as I do with the other idiots here. And sure, your an idiot but… I just… it's different."

"I love you to Draco." Harry said quickly, a blur of words.

"You mean that?" Draco raised his eyebrows. "I thought that… well… I guess I thought you wouldn't want to be… you know."

"I actually just came out to Ron."

"Wow." Draco breathed. "You know, I thought-" Draco paused. "Nevermind."

Harry raised an eyebrow and walked closer to him, cupping his hand and kissed him. It was soft, and quick. Harry pulled back swiftly and looked Draco in the eye.

"Draco…" He said softly, "I think we both need to stop overthinking things."

"Potter I-"

"No." Harry put his arms around Draco. "Harry."

**Thank so much for reading! Leave a review.**


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